In the sex act, do not seek the release

What the Method Is

The core instruction for this meditation technique is: “At the start of sexual union keep attentive on the fire in the beginning, and so continuing, avoid the embers in the end.”. This method redirects the typical goal-oriented approach to sex (which focuses on release or ejaculation) towards a sustained, non-culminating awareness of the initial warmth and union, thereby transforming the act into a deep meditation.

How It Is Done

To practice this method, one should:

  • Enter the sexual union with full attention on the “fire in the beginning”: This means to be completely present and aware of the initial warmth and sensations of merging, rather than focusing on the end goal of release or ejaculation.
  • Avoid seeking the release: Consciously let go of the urge to reach a climax or ejaculate. The intention is to remain in the beginning phase, allowing the energy to circulate and deepen the experience rather than dissipate.
  • Melt and merge: Focus on the merging of two bodies and two souls, allowing yourselves to dissolve into each other. The act should be seen as an end in itself, not a means to an end.
  • Remain in the present moment: Forget about the future result (ejaculation) and fully immerse yourselves in the “here and now” of the union.
  • Prolong the embrace: Without the hurry to finish, the communion can be extended for hours, allowing the togetherness to deepen.
  • Cultivate a calm, serene, meditative state: Instead of excitement, approach the act with an unhurried, relaxed, and meditative attitude. This involves breathing deeply and slowly, and using bodies to feel, rather than minds to think or talk.
  • Allow shaking and vibration (if it arises): If the senses are shaken as leaves during the embrace, embrace this shaking. This indicates that energy is flowing throughout the entire body, involving every cell, and should not be resisted.
  • Forget the partner (later stage): Once the feeling of union and oneness is deeply known, the partner becomes a dispensable “door” to the larger experience of existence. One can then remember the union and enter the meditative state even without the physical presence of a partner.
Commentaries and Insights
  • Tantra’s Unique Approach to Sex: Tantra views sex as a total act that can throw one off the mind and into a no-mind state. Unlike conventional views that often condemn or reduce sex to mere physical release, Tantra sees it as a profound biological ecstasy and a potential vehicle for the highest spiritual transformation. It is a “natural method” and a “deep spiritual communion”.
  • Ego Dissolution and Wholeness: Fear of sex often stems from the ego’s reluctance to relinquish control and dissolve into something greater. In authentic sexual union, the ego disappears, leading to a feeling of oneness where individuality is lost, and one becomes whole.
  • Energy Transformation and “Valley Orgasm”: Ordinary sex, focused on release, is seen as destructive and a “wastage of energy,” leading to a negative relaxation and depletion. Tantra, however, aims for a “valley orgasm” – a deep, positive relaxation that occurs when one moves into the deepest valley of relaxation rather than a peak of excitement. In this state, energy is not lost but gained and transformed, leading to a feeling of being filled with vitality and radiance that can last for hours or even days. This transformation can turn sex energy into love, and ultimately, into samadhi.
  • Societal Conditioning and Guilt: Osho emphasizes that societal and religious conditioning has deeply ingrained guilt and inhibition around sex, preventing a total let-go. This leads to a “perverted” experience of sex, where it becomes a hurried, anxiety-ridden act that leaves one feeling used and depressed. Tantra advocates shedding these imposed moralities to experience sex as a pure energy.
  • Body as a Sacred Vehicle: Tantra’s emphasis on the body stems from the belief that it is the starting point for spiritual journey. Sex, being the fundamental life energy and the “lowest center” (Mooladhara chakra), is accepted as the place “where you are”. By accepting and consciously working with this energy, it can be transmuted to higher centers, culminating at the Sahasrara (highest chakra), leading to spiritual rebirth.
  • The Paradox of Brahmacharya (Celibacy): For Tantra, true celibacy is not achieved through suppression or fighting against sex, but as a consequence of total acceptance and transformation of sexual energy. When sex is lived with total awareness and energy moves to higher dimensions, the urge for lower physical release naturally disappears. This is distinct from forced celibacy, which leads to repression, perversion, and inner violence.
  • Connection to Surrender: The deep relaxation and let-go required in Tantric sex act is a form of surrender. Experiencing this biological surrender in sex can lay the foundation for understanding and achieving existential surrender to a master or the cosmos itself. It is a passive state, where the practitioner becomes a “wave in a great ocean” rather than an active controller.
  • Simplicity and Scientific Approach: Like other Tantric techniques, this method, despite its profound effect, appears simple. Tantra approaches these processes scientifically, focusing on “how” to achieve a state, rather than intellectual philosophy. The body’s own wisdom, when not interfered with by the mind, knows how to achieve bliss.
  • Warnings: Osho cautions against trying to control excitement (as this creates double excitement) or feeling that something has gone wrong if ejaculation does not occur, as this is merely an old habit from a peak-oriented approach. The method requires patience and letting go of the mental “must” to achieve results.