Make love without the partner

What the Method Is

The core instruction for this technique is: “Even remembering union, without the embrace, the transformation!”. This suggests that the practitioner can achieve a state of spiritual transformation by recollecting and experiencing the essence of intimate union, even without the physical presence of a partner.

How It Is Done

To effectively practise “Make love without the partner”, a crucial prerequisite is to have previously experienced a deep, unifying sexual union with a partner where the self (ego) was momentarily lost, and a sense of vibrating energy or oneness was felt. This prior experience provides the internal blueprint for the meditation.

Once this foundation is established, the steps involve:

Closing the eyes: This helps to direct attention inwards and cultivate an inner feeling of a circle of oneness.
Lying down as if with your partner: Create a mental and physical setup that simulates the physical presence of a partner.
Remembering and re-feeling the union: Recall the sensations and the feeling of oneness experienced during a deep embrace with a partner. The practitioner should allow themselves to genuinely re-enter that state.
Allowing the body to shake and vibrate: Encourage the body to respond as it would during the physical act. This helps in the flow of energy throughout the body.
Moving as if physically in the act: Perform any movements, screams, or shaking that would naturally occur during the sexual act, fully immersing in the experience.
Forgetting the partner’s physical absence: Initially, this may feel like an “as if” exercise, but with consistent practice, the internal experience of the partner’s presence becomes very real.

Commentaries and Insights

Osho’s commentaries provide a rich context for understanding this technique:

Purpose of the Method: The primary goal is to achieve freedom from dependence on an external partner. While a partner can be a “door” to deeper experience, this technique allows the individual to access that experience independently.
Transformation and Oneness with Existence: This practice enables a profound transformation, moving beyond the physical act to a state of constant communion with existence itself. The individual can begin to feel the entire universe as their beloved or lover. This means that everyday activities, like walking in the morning or staring at the stars, can become acts of deep communion.
Sex as a Vehicle for Transcendence: Tantra views sex as a powerful energy vehicle for transformation and for reaching transcendental states. It is not about condemnation, but about using natural energy to go beyond. The energy should not be “thrown out” but integrated, becoming a “meditative circle”.
Overcoming Societal Conditioning: Modern society’s conditioning has created deep barriers around sex, often labelling it as sin or taboo, which prevents a total let-go during the act. This technique helps to unburden the unconscious from these ingrained repressions, allowing for a more complete and authentic engagement with one’s own energy.
Totality and Non-thinking: To achieve true awareness and oneness, one must engage in the experience totally, forgetting all societal inhibitions, cultural norms, and intellectual ideologies. Becoming absolutely non-thinking during the process is crucial, as this cessation of mind enables the awareness of fundamental unity. This totality helps to bridge the “split personality” and move towards wholeness.
Real Celibacy and Inner Embrace: This technique acknowledges that every human being contains both masculine and feminine energies. By creating an “embrace within yourself” where the inner man meets the inner woman, one can achieve a state of real celibacy. This differs from forced celibacy, which often leads to perversions and internal conflict.
Acceptance and Awareness: Tantra’s philosophy is rooted in total acceptance of life, without judgment or conflict. Transformation arises not from fighting against desires or aspects of oneself, but from deep awareness and understanding. If one moves into the sex act totally and without reservation, the experience shifts from temporary relief to a continuous meditative state.
Partner as a “Provocation”: The external partner is seen as a “provocation” or a “challenge” that helps one discover the inherent ecstatic potential that already exists within. Once this inner path is known, the individual is no longer dependent on the external stimulus.
Beyond Orgasm (Valley Orgasm): The tantric sex act, and by extension this solo practice, aims for a “valley orgasm” rather than a “peak orgasm”. Instead of a frantic climb to excitement followed by a fall and exhaustion, it focuses on deep relaxation and merging, leading to a feeling of being filled with energy and vitality. This relaxed state can lead to the disappearance of ejaculation and a sustained feeling of well-being for hours or even days.
Warnings: Osho warns that techniques involving the manipulation of inner energy, especially those connected to Kundalini, are powerful. It is crucial not to leave the energy “in the middle” of the body, as this can be harmful and lead to mental illnesses. The energy must be brought to its completion, ideally released at the Sahasrara chakra (top of the head). He advises ensuring absolute privacy and no disturbance when practising such methods. For more powerful techniques, seeking guidance from a master is recommended.

Make love without the partner